Hang In There, Joan

"If for a while, the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart.

So it has been with the best people who ever lived."

— Jeffrey R. Holland

THE SCIENTIST

The Scientist by Coldplay is my favorite song. I still remember the first time I heard it—My cousin Jessica was living with us when I was little and I idolized her. She was always so patient with me. When I was in San Francisco last week, on the first day of the trip, we went to an outlook high in the hills to see the Golden Gate Bridge. If you walked through a concrete tunnel, you emerged with a different view, this time of rolling California hills and the ocean/bay (don't ask me haha).

I was having a rough day in general and was beginning to wonder why I even spent all that hard-earned money and went on the trip in the first place. I needed a little space so I headed for the tunnel to check out the views on the other side. That's when I heard this. (see video) I talked to the girls afterwards—they lived nearby and just spontaneously came to sing in the tunnels. They sang a couple other songs until the sun set and it got dark, including La Vie En Rose. Anyway, it wasn't spontaneous, it was inspired (tender mercy). I really needed to hear that song at that moment.

Another beautiful cover of The Scientist is Natasha Bedingfield's. I love it so, so much.

Progress

I had an interesting writing assignment the other day that ended up being an observation of how I perceive my own progress. I think it's so easy for me to only focus on the things that I don't know (that I want to know) and completely disregard and ignore everything I've learned. I also have a really skewed sense of time. Not hour to hour, but long term. A few months ago I had just started my computer art class and was barely learning to use photoshop; a year ago I was just hearing the words "aperture", "ISO", and "shutter speed" for the first time.

And since then, I've learned so much, including how to code this little page you're reading right now! A few months I won a contest with a design I made in Illustrator ---- 700+ people will be wore my art on their t-shirts at Relay For Life! A few months ago, I literally didn't have a clue how to use Illustrator. And six months from now, I'm going to look at my first roll of film that I just shot this week and smile. Because (I'm hoping, hahaha) you'll be able to see the progress. 

I'm just saying, it's healthy to remember to give yourself a high five sometimes. You're doing great. Just start where you are. That's one of the reasons I love keeping this little blog of mine. Go to the top right photo in the navigation bar and click that archive link. Seriously. (ugh the HTML code randomly stops working sometimes, so forgive me if it doesn't work...) And scroll down to those oldest posts. There's a reason they're still there. Progress. It's so important to recognize. Some [most] of that stuff seems laughable now, but I think it's a good marker of how far I've come. And who knows ---- the stuff I'm posting now might seem laughable in a few months. It probably will be. But I'll still be proud of it. The journey is just as important as your destination. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Love that evolution. Too often I think there's such a facade that hides the learning curve for whatever reason. Maybe people think it's embarrassing? Well, I'm not going to hide it. There's still so much that I don't know ---- there's so much that I've got no clue about. But just as importantly, there is so much I have learned so far. And that is so essential to remember.

PS, this: 

Cannot Be Useless

"So long as there shall exist, by reason of law and custom, a social condemnation, which, in the face of civilization, artificially creates hells on earth, and complicates a destiny that is divine, with human fatality; so long as the three problems of the age — the degradation of man by poverty, the ruin of women by starvation, and the dwarfing of childhood by physical and spiritual night — are not solved; so long as, in certain regions, social asphyxia shall be possible; in other words, and from a yet more extended point of view, so long as ignorance and misery remain on earth, books like this cannot be useless.

— Victor Hugo, in regards to Les Miserables

 I discovered this quote in an old library copy of Les Miserables and loved it so much that I had no choice but to write it down immediately. Sometimes I wonder if I should be studying something else. Something more useful or noble or helpful... But then I think about it and the bottom line is simply how can you use this to help others? This quote just resonated  with me — books, words, music, film: they can all communicate to people so profoundly at times. It's all about what message you're trying to send, and as long as there is suffering in this world, "books like this cannot be useless." Nothing that inspires, gives hope, or expresses the beauty of human life can be useless if there are people that need to hear it.

INVICTUS

Last week I watched the movie Invictus. This is a quote from the poem of the same name. It's a key part of the story, as Nelson Mandella talks about the impact it has had on his own life. Such a good film... Rugby is crazy. 

I loved this quote, so I made this: (I'm thinking I might get a blueprint copy made of it and hang it on my wall out at school in the Fall!)

My Love/Hate Relationship With Social Media

Sometimes I feel completely bipolar in regards to social media. 

By far, social media outlets like Pinterest, various blogs, and Vimeo have been one of my biggest inspirations, creatively. (You can see some of my favorite sources of inspiration at the bottom of my page, under the tab Inspire Me.) I love that you can stumble upon something that just completely changes the way you view the world. I talked about inspiration a little bit in my Ten Most Significant post. I love that I can keep in touch with my sisters all the way in Provo (even though I'll be joining them in August!! AHH) and see what everyone is up to. I love following florists and New Yorkers on Instagram, and comedians like Mindy Kaling on Twitter. I love that people can so easily create something that never existed before or learn something new from someone they look up to or have never even met. I love that on a lot of blogs, you can see someone's artistic evolution; their journey to where they are now. That is one of my favorite parts of social media; it gives me hope for my future. ;)

Most of all, I love this little blog of mine. I realize that it's mostly my family that reads it ---- they're so loyal. ;) But more than anything, I write this for me. I love that when I see this little header and navigation bar I created, this little "corner of the internet" that I designed and is mine to curate, there's this little surge of pride that swells in my chest. When I click on that "Archive" button, it takes me to a journey. My journey. A lot of times, I (mentally and/or physically) lie on the floor (it's a girl thing) and reevaluate. I make the mistake FDR tries to prevent every time ("comparison is the thief of joy") and sometimes am annoyed or upset that this or that class/project/thing didn't work out; I wonder "how do they even do that?"; my skills feel pretty inadequate. But then I look at my little archive. I scroll down, to the bottom, and feel better. I think to myself how laughable some [all] of those photos are, but I will never delete them. They are part of my journey and they show how much I have grown, learned, and evolved. And maybe, someday they'll inspire someone else. That would be so gratifying. There was once a time when I didn't know anything, and I mean anything about photography, videography, you name it. But I wanted to. Oh, I wanted to! So, I picked up a book and I taught myself.

I love that there are platforms that constantly change ---- the internet and social media literally provide a never-ending stream of new inspiration. There is always something new to discover; there is always something that will inspire me to learn a new skill. There is always something that will make you think that you could do something you never thought you could, after all.

BUT.

Sometimes I hate social media. Sometime's it is the worst. I probably think about deleting my Facebook more than once a week. There is so much complaining that goes on. And oversharing. Oh, the oversharing. Sometimes, I think people forget about boundaries on social media. Sometimes, it's disappointing that because social media is so visual, there's a huge focus on being materialistic. These things are enough to make me want to get rid of it, but I'm torn because of all the reasons above. I think people are so inspiring, and I love to keep in touch with family and friends, but I find the rest of it so disenchanting.

I guess that it's all about balance.

During the month of February, I started obsessively checking my email, for a letter from BYU, of course! I can relax now, because I got in yesterday! Yay! But I'm kind of tired of social media, and I think it's time to make a few changes. I'm not addicted to my phone, not even close! There's no need to worry. ;) I have just been wanting to make a few changes and I've heard some really good ideas lately and thought I would share. Want to join me?

1 // I'm going to find my alarm clock and when I do, I'm going to start charging my phone downstairs. I know this will make a huge difference. Huge.

2 // I'm going to charge my computer downstairs with my phone. Mostly I'm going to just try to use electronics less overall, but especially in my bedroom/when I should be sleeping.

3 // I'm going to try not to use my phone after 10. Basically I should be letting my mind wind down at night. And I'm not. I already have insomnia a lot, and I'm sure this isn't helping. When we were little and couldn't sleep, my Dad would recommend that we get a glass of milk and read until we were tired. It definitely always worked. Read instead!

4 // I'm going to keep my phone in my [locked, as always] locker during school. I usually read in class when I'm free anyway, but I think it'd be a good break to simply not use it at all, on purpose.

5 // Finally, I'm going to stop using my phone on Sundays. Maybe with the exception of The Oscars tomorrow, though. Baby steps. ;)

What are your thoughts on social media? It's a fickle thing, that's for sure.

Bad Design, Good Design, & Great Design ( + Two Things I Learned Today)

SOURCE 

Sometime last year, I watched the documentary Objectified*. In it, one of the designers talks about the skill involved in design. Essentially, he said (much, much more eloquently than this) that bad design is obvious, and good design is noticeable. But great design shouldn't be noticed. It's function should be so flawless that it shouldn't call any attention to itself, basically doing its job so well that it slips by, escaping the notice of the person using it. So interesting.

Two things I learned today:

1 // I'm designing the playbill for my school's musical this year. My teacher and I came up with the layout for it this afternoon. We worked from the center out. I never would've thought to do that on my own, but thinking about it now, it's so intuitive! When the playbill is stapled, as I'm sure you know from personal experience, it tends to fall open to the center page. So, start there, putting the most important elements where they'll be seen and appreciated. Doesn't that make so much more sense than starting with the front cover, like I did when I worked on it on my own?

2 // I'm reading about videography, and today I came across a passage that discussed the importance of cuts and edits. It said each time you make a cut from one clip to another, it's a dangerous opportunity to lose the attention of your audience. You're actually redirecting their attention and thoughts; that's why it's so important to make your edits perfect... A few too many extra static frames and your audience may have changed the channel.

Now, I'm not saying I have lots of experience in that area (yet), but I thought it was such an interesting way to approach constructing your film.

*PS, you can stream it for free on that website!

Music Makers & Dream Dreamers

Made the top photo just for fun. PS I know the quote is from Willy Wonka, but mostly, it makes me think of Brooke White.

I love the bottom photo because the colors are so vibrant. It's from November. November was colorful.

And It Was Peaceful

Yesterday was crummy. You know the feeling, I'm sure. And I went to bed thinking today would be the same, as those kinds of crummy days tend to lead us to believe. But today wasn't bad. In fact, today was pretty great. No, nothing truly spectacular happened, but it was wonderful, all the same.

I went outside on the front porch with a big glass of ice water, after I was done exercising. THIS is how I feel about exercising. But you know that wonderful feeling you get after you run and your legs feel like jelly, and ironically, you have more energy than you did before you started? Maybe Elle Woods was right. Well, that's how I was feeling when I sat down on the front porch with my big glass of ice water, in the sixty degree evening.

...And I didn't do anything. I didn't worry, I didn't plan, I didn't even think at all. I just sat there, with the cool breeze blowing, listening to the neighborhood dogs bark, drinking my ice water. And it was peaceful.

Jane Eyre Favorites

this weekend i'm playing catchup. this summer has been crazy and packed, but things are slowing down. i'll be back, becasue i have a lot that i want to share, but for now i'll leave you with my favorite quotes from jane eyre, my chosen summer reading.

"' Do you think I can stay to become nothing to you? Do you think I am an automatron? ---a machine without feelings? and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! ---I have as much soul as you,---and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty, and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities, or even of mortal flesh----it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God's feet, equal,---as we are!'"

"'Is it better to drive a fellow-creature to despair than to transgress a mere human law---no man being injured by the breach? For you have neither relatives nor acquaintances whom you need fear to offend by living with me.'

            This was true: and while he spoke my very conscience and reason turned traitors against me, and charged me with crime in resisting him. They spoke almost as loud as feeling... 'Who in the world cares for you? Or who will be injured by what you do?'

            Still indomitable was the reply---"I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself. I will keep the law given by God; sanctioned by man. I will hold to the principles received by me when I was sane, and not mad---as I am now. Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation: they are for such moments when the body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigour; stringent are they; inviolate they shall be. If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would be their worth? They have a worth---so I have always believed­­; and if I cannot believe it now, it is because I am insane---quite insane: with my veins running fire, and my heart beating faster than I can count its throbs. Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations, are all I have at this hour to stand by: there I plant my foot.'"

hamlet

my favorite hamlet quotes:

{thank you, summer reading}

This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man (I, iii,  77-79).

Doubt that the stars are fire,

Doubt that the sun doth move,

Doubt truth to be a liar,

But never doubt I love (II, ii, 114-117).

To be or not to be? That is the question----

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles

And, by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep---

No more----and by a sleep to say we end

The heartache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep----

To sleep, perchance to dream---ay, there's the rub,

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil

Must give us pause. There's the respect

That makes calamity of so long life (III, i, 55-68).

Conceit in weakest bodies strongest works (III, iv, 114).

to remember

found here